Oh No!! Where Does the Time Go?

Oh no! It's been since March of 2010 since I posted anything? Really? Well now that's a shame. My kids are still cute and funny and now I feel terrible that all the cute and funny things have gone undocumented. I did just figure out that I can post things now but backdate them to the time at which they actually happened which is good. Wouldn't want tobe inaccurate or anything.

Quick summary...

Sam turns 4 in 2 days. He starts preschool on Tuesday and soccer for the first time some time next week. He is a bundle of energy and keeps us laughing all the time.

Nathan is in the 3rd grade. I feel like he's growing up WAY too fast. He wants to play basketball this fall. We are strongly encouraging (making) him take piano lessons and he is involved in scouts at church. He has a wicked sense of humor and still loves to cuddle.

We got another baby. Oh, I mean we got a dog. Sometimes it has felt like as much work as a baby. His name is Cosmo. He's a golden retriever. He loves us (some of us more than others) and we love him. He's handsome too, so I'm even going to put a picture.

That's all for now. I can go to bed tonight with just a little less mommy guilt.

Seat Belt Police

The boys and I were on our way home today from the park. We stopped at a convenience store that is within a mile or so of our home. I am somewhat ashamed to say that I made a decision NOT to put my seat belt on because we were so close to home. Wouldn't want to waste any energy on something so temporary. The seat belt alarm thingie only goes off a few times between this gas station and our house. (not that I've done it before) As we're rounding the last curve before entering our subdivision, I hear from the back seat "seat belt pwease mom". I didn't say a word. Caught by a two year old. I quickly put my seat belt on and snuck a look at him in the rear view mirror at which time he said "thanks".

What would I do without my Sam? Be very reckless for one thing...

Empathy...not quite

Recently Nathan and I were alone in the car on a regular errand to buy crickets for our ugliest family member, Jack. I turned off the radio and tried to take advantage of our time together. I asked him about school and how the first grade has compared with kindergarten. He said that kindergarten was a lot more fun for obvious reasons. I took this opportunity to tell a story about when I was in the first grade. I too was pining for the happier days of kindergarten. I had two of the absolute best kindergarten teachers and I was unwilling to give my new teacher a chance. Well, on one quite terrible day of first grade our teacher had to leave the room and told us that we had better be quiet and under no circumstances should we leave our seats. If we did, we would be in BIG trouble. Seeing that I had decided this teacher was the biggest meanie ever I didn't dare leave my seat even though I REALLY needed to go the little girls room. As I remember I waited as long as I possibly could. I even considered disobeying my teacher and going to the bathroom without permission. In the end I did the only reasonable thing I could think of...I sat in my seat and peed my pants. It ran down the desk and I just sat there pretending nothing had happened. The teacher came back and of course asked me why I hadn't just gone to the restroom. Obviously she did not understand the power of her words over a little girl who was terribly frightened of her. So instead of going outside for recess I got to sit in the classroom, wrapped in my teachers coat while she hung my wet clothes on the heater to dry. (yuck) As a side note, my "boyfriend" Todd kindly stayed inside with me and held my hand. When I was done relating what I considered to be a terribly sad story to Nathan about myself as a little girl in the first grade, I asked him what he thought. He said "I have two interesting things to tell you. Number one...I just saw a lady walking a dog and the dog had on a sweater. Number two...I just saw a sign laying on the ground." I hesitated for a moment hoping he had more to say that might have something to do with my story. When he didn't I said "no Nathan, what did you think about my story?" He says "oh that, peeing in your desk is gross mom." Hmmm...all my sensitivity training doesn't seem to be sinking in. I will say that later as he related the story to his dad he said "isn't that sad?"

what's that you say?

I just ran across this and had to post it even though it is a few months old. The video speaks for itself, but just a little setup. At the time Sam was insisting on being potty trained. (we have since given up on this little endeavor for a while) In this video I am interrogating him as he sits on the throne about how a big mess of popcorn got all over the living room floor. This is what I got. I'm not exactly sure what he's saying but I would say based on my best interpretation, he's definitely a suspect in the crime.

"hubs"

Sam and I took a trip to the grocery store yesterday. Our first stop, of course, was to the bakery for his complimentary chocolate chip cookie. He was a pretty content shopping partner until the cookie ran out on aisle two. At that point he started begging for everything we passed. This is how the conversation went.

Sam: "mama, what is that?"

Me: "those are noodles, Sam."

Sam: "i want doodles mom."

And so it went. I identified an item for him and he told me he wanted said item. About half way through the store I was getting frazzled and forgetting what I was doing, going back to aisles where I had forgotten the main things I had come to the store for. My patience may or may not have been running a little thin and if you had been there you may or may not have been able to detect that in my voice when answering Sam's continued questions. At some point he started saying "i want hub mamma." He had to say it a few times. I was trying to piece together what a "hub" might be by thinking about what items I had identified for him in the past 30 seconds. And then I stopped, looked at him and he held his arms out "i want a hub mamma". Oh, a hug. Sweet baby. So we stood in the cereal isle hugging and then he said, no kidding "mmmm...this is nice."

These moments are what makes it possible to withstand the other "terrible two" moments. I love this kid!

So yes, I shamelessly tried to recreate this hug so I could take a picture. I get lots of hugs so it's not a total fake, just staged because a picture of Sam just makes this entry better.

Rocky Balboa

So I just have to post this really quick. Sam has been BEGGING to go to Nana & Papa's house. Every time we get in the car it's "are we going to Nana & Papa's and then a mini tantrum when I tell him no. So yesterday I was just curious why he wanted to go so badly so I asked "Sam, what are you going to do at Nana & Papa's house?" This was followed by a pause, a hmmmm, a pause and then "hit people". Yep that's right, hit people. I asked just be to sure and he confirmed that he indeed was pining for Nana & Papa's house so he could hit people. I hope this is just a sweet little harmless two year old thing to say rather than the other option which is that he remembers that there are always people smaller than him at Nana & Papa's house and therefore he has people he feels safe to hit. So scary. Just look how ferocious he is.

New Addition

We have a new addition to our family. An addition I was very reluctant to make.


Nathan started asking for a lizard a few months ago. I hoped this fascination would pass. We finally told him that if he still wanted one on his birthday then we would get him one. Well, guess what? He still very much wanted one when his birthday rolled around. Dave did a lot of research and determined that a bearded dragon would be our best bet. When the day arrived we all loaded up and headed to the stinkiest yuckiest place in town to purchase this ugly little creature. Nathan was so excited. He took his time picking out just the right one. (they all looked the same to me...ugly and....lizardie) Once he was chosen, they packed him up in a little box, we bought a hundred crickets and took him home.

Naming the little critter....

Nathan had his heart set on naming him "John the Lizard". The whole thing. Not just John. John the Lizard. When I asked him if I could just call him John he explained "no mom, because his name is John the Lizard, like John the Baptist". Oh, well of course we should turn to the scriptures for the naming of our pets. Thankfully after a few days of the confusion and his annoyance at me that I would not call him by his full and proper name, we settled on Jack. I feel this rolls off the tongue much easier, don't you?

Now that the naming was over the little monstrosity took over our lives. I kid you not. Like a little newborn baby. When choosing this thing Dave assured me that he would be very easy to care for. Not so. First of all, he is apparently very sensitive to the temperature in his "habitat". We bought a heat lamp to put over his cage, but this is not enough. He prefers a warm room. The girl at the store where we bought him told us that she keeps her reptile room at 75 degrees. Well of course you do. We, on the other hand, like things a little cooler. The room he resides in happens to be the coldest room in our house. So I found myself worrying about this ugly little creature I didn't want and finally put a space heater in "his room". There's another funny thing. He now has his own room which used to be a guest room slash room to escape to when Dave's snoring is too much for me to take. Now I can't go in there because "Jack" likes his room so stinking hot that I can't stand to sleep in there. The next issue that kept me up at night worrying was his eating. He's supposed to eat anywhere from 5 to 20 crickets a day as a baby and some greens. Well, when we first got him home we could not get him to eat any of the HUNDRED crickets we bought. I was going in there all day offering them to him and in my spare time reading on the Internet about what to do next. Turns out he was just "anxious" about his new environment and after a few days his appetite returned. What a prima donna! Really?? The worst part is I've developed all these nurturing feelings for this thing I never wanted. I wouldn't say that I exactly like him. I still won't touch him. But I do spend a great deal of time fussing over and worrying about him. How did I get tricked into this? Also, I bet you didn't know that the crickets i.e.food have to be cared for as well. They have to be fed their own special food and sprinkled with some magic fairy dust that makes them more nutritious. Seriously, I think a baby elephant would be less trouble!

For now he's here and I see no end in sight. Luckily Nathan has become really good at taking care of him now and really enjoys it. He loves to hold him and is very gentle with him. Sam is mostly stuck watching him from afar as he has not yet learned how to pet "softly".

I think there are levels of care we could provide and I don't know how long we will keep up this whole first class routine. As a friend pointed out to me, his accommodations are equivalent to country club living and he might be just as content living in low income housing. I hope he doesn't get too accustomed to all the pampering.

One last thing...this is what we have to look forward to

(i just threw up in my mouth a little bit. isn't that the uglies thing you've even seen?)

p.s. my sincere apologies to any of you reptile lovers out there. i did not mean to offend.

Hello Seven

Again I am in shock as another year rolls around and I am now the mother of a seven year old! If things had worked out as we hoped in the beginning I would have a 13 or 14 year old by now, but seven seems old enough for me right now.

We celebrated Nathan's birthday several times. On his actual birthday he got his present from us and we let him choose where we would go for dinner. He chose Moe's for the chicken quesadilla and I made a cake for him at home. We celebrated again a few days later with a party at a jump house. He invited some of his friends from school and church and they had a great time.

He's growing up so fast. Only a year from now he'll be eight which is a big milestone. He's starting to spend more and more time by himself. He is most often found in his room creating lego vehicles and guys from his imagination. This time last year it was all about the video games and spongebob.

His is enjoying school but his fascination with the new school year and attractive teacher have worn off and he's decided that first grade is a lot of work. He does well in school when he feels like it, but is guilty of trying to be the first one done and doing a pretty pitiful job sometimes.

He is getting better at church. He's finally learned to sit still and might even be caught enjoying music time. I don't sit and wonder when they are going to come get me to "deal" with Nathan at church anymore.

He's still working on his relationship with his little brother. I'm still hoping it gets better. He picks on him sometimes and like to hear him scream. On the other hand, he really enjoys making something for Sam to play with or loaning him some of his "special" guys. He really hates when Sam does not show adequate appreciation for this gesture. He becomes Sam's biggest supporter when I have to correct him. He often defends Sam and wants to be there to comfort him when the scolding is over.

I still look at him every day and think of how he came to be ours and I am so thankful to have him in my home.

sam the shopper... he is not

As the mom of two boys who will one day marry women who will in no doubt love to shop, I find it my personal duty to teach them the joys of shopping. I think I did a pretty good job with Nathan. At a young age he seemed to enjoy looking at things as I pointed out the fine details and differences in things I was trying to decide about. I would talk to him as an equal, asking his opinion etc. So naturally, being so proud of myself I have continued this goal with Sam. It's true what they say...no two children are alike. Sam HATES shopping. Doesn't like anything about it. I can't find anything interesting enough to capture his interest. He can't be bribed or begged into cooperating with me. He pretty much complains the entire time. But being the ever determined soul that I am, I forge ahead with my goal of making a good shopping companion for his one day bride. It's a tough job, but won't she be so happy?
On one such shopping trip I had been promising that we would look at just "one more thing" for the past five things. He had a toy in his hand that he could not open until we paid for it. This he understands and was very frustrated. He said to everyone we passed "open pwease". He was so put out that no one would help him. When we neared the front of the store he was elated. He was kicking his little feet and smiling that sweet smile from ear to ear. Then, as a test, purely because I feel it is my duty, I stopped to look at "one more thing". He could take it no longer. He balled up his little fists, banged them on the cart and yelled almost at the top of his lungs "OH MY DOSH!" I tried my best not to laugh at him. He was SO over it. I blame the geniuses who put the stuff right up at the front of the store. They know me too well. But alas we did check out. Ironically, after all that shopping all we got was the stupid toy. So I'll say it now...sorry to Sam's future wife. He will most likely not enjoy helping you pick out a lovely outfit or furniture for your first home. I tried.

honesty at a price

We have always been so proud of Nathan for being honest. He has almost always been painfully honest no matter the cost. As he's gotten older I have noticed that there are occasions where this is becoming a little more difficult and I see him struggle a little longer with his decision in whether or not to be truthful. Of course, as his mom I would ONLY ever encourage him to be honest....unless of course it embarrasses me. Case in point...
We have a new primary president. She is a very sweet, young mom with lots of enthusiasm and great ideas. A few Sundays ago she was letting the children know there were going to new rules concerning their reverence. She tried the "reverence means love" tactic. And that to show their love they should want to be reverent. I just happened to walk into the room as she was saying "well, you might not love me, but you do love your Heavenly Father don't you?" For just a tiny second I wondered what child had told this sweet lady that he did NOT love HER. It did not take me long to come to my senses though and realize that of course it had to be Nathan. Who else would do that? In talking to another adult that had been present for the full exchange, she told me that he was very serious and matter of fact in his statement and that he had not meant to be mean or funny. I know this to be true, but still. Does he always have to be honest out loud? He did go on to say that he did love his Heavenly Father very much and for that reason he would try to be more reverent. As we discussed this episode with him he said to me "well sorry mom, but I barely know that lady". True . But necessary to say? I think not.

Baby Turns Two

I can't believe our baby is two. It shouldn't feel so strange as he's always tried to be bigger than he is. Keeping up with a big brother makes for a short life as a baby. This makes me sad. I try to explain to him how he's my last and it must LAST. All of it. The baby babble, the silly cartoons, the unique language all his own, the chubby wrists and elbows. Ohhh, the dimples where elbows and knuckles are supposed to be. I don't know how much longer we have to enjoy these things. It's going by so fast. Oh and the fat, square pudgy feet. What will I do when they have disappeared forever from my life? sigh.... He doesn't listen. He just insists on getting bigger, saying big words, trying to potty train himself. How dare he do this to me??


No matter how sad of an occasion for me, we did celebrate the little guy turning 2. Sam mostly loves what Nathan loves.....legos, "guys", spongebob....yuck, but he also loves puppies. All on his own. Puppies are Sam's love that he came up with independent of his big brother's influence. So we had a puppy party. It was just us, very anti-climatic, but we got lots of pictures and I think he liked his huge cookie cake with the big paw print.

Happy Birthday my little Sam. May you stay little just a little longer.

Firsts

We've had a week of firsts.

-Nathan's first day in the 1st grade.

-first time I didn't take 100 pictures to commemorate such a big event

-first time I let Nathan choose his own shirt for school

-first time I only spent one day during the 1st week crying my eyes out after dropping him off

Nathan is loving the 1st grade so far. He is doing very well also with listening and following directions. Only a week in, but SUCH an improvement over last year! I think by this time last year he was already on a first name basis with the principal. I am really happy and couldn't be more proud.

passing it on

so a few weeks ago, we were in nathan's favorite store toys r us. they had some of the "old" games on sale, one of them being battleship. i picked it up thinking it might be a little challenging, but fun and nostalgic for dave and i. so yesterday nathan and i played it for the first time. he actually picked up on it pretty easily. he then challenged his dad to a game when he got home from work. he did even better this time.

this morning this was the scene at the breakfast table.

battleship game - great deal

time spent teaching nathan to play - honestly...tested my patience

witnessing this moment between these two - priceless

sidenote - i think this is the second time i have ripped off this ad campaign. i don't even remember what company it is for. memorable, but not in the way they intended.

the essentials

i have been asked to help out in primary indefinitely, as a parent volunteer. mostly because my own child has a problem sitting still and listening. on one such sunday they were having a very good sharing time on pioneers. nathan was sitting beside me in his own little world, not listening to a word being said. the sweet sister in front of this rambunctious group of children was talking about the handcarts and how you could only take what would fit in your handcart. i saw an opportunity to get nathan involved, so i leaned over and asked him what he would take if he could ONLY take what would fit in his handcart. his first answer was a a very rational "shirts". "well yes, nathan you would probably need more shirts. what else?" so he pauses for a minute. i'm assuming because he really wants to say his DS and IPOD, but he's pretty sure those wouldn't be considered essentials in a time like this, so he instead says "oh, definitely a comb and that stuff you spray my hair with to get it to lay down."

good answer nathan. very practical.

addendum

I can't believe I forgot to mention the best word Sam says. It's bubbles. I love to hear him say it and he knows it too. He doesn't say it often and almost never when I ask. He usually reserves it for when he's in trouble. He'll come up to me and say really softly "bubbles mama". How do they learn these tricks so early? Because looking at those juicy lips enunciating all those B's, who can resist? Usually not me.

he speaks

And by HE, I mean Sam and by speaks, I mean A LOT. Most words are unintelligible. But there are quite a few that he's been saying for a while now that we all understand very well. His most frequently used vocabulary:

mama (oh how that sweet utterance used repeatedly can start to sound like nails on a chalkboard)

daddee
sunglasses (i know, a weird first word, but the kid likes his shades)
please
thank you
thanks
out
go
shoes

There's more, but my brain is fried at the moment. I'll just post this little gem. Most of what he says here aren't real words. We often tell him to speak English, and sometimes he does. Sometimes, however, he speaks "Sam" and we just smile and nod our heads. It's cute either way and he loves to hear himself talk. And I love to WATCH him talk. Check out that lip action.

finally in need of the tooth fairy

At 6 1/2 Nathan finally lost his first tooth. We had been anticipating it for weeks. He was so excited when it fell out. It's hard to say if he was more excited by the soon to come visit from the tooth fairy, or that it didn't hurt. We asked him how much he thought the tooth fairy should bring and he said $100.00. I'm fully aware of inflation, but I tried to explain that $100.00 might be expecting a little too much. So he got $5 and was thrilled. The next day at church he smiled at everyone he passed, gave them about 5 seconds to notice on their own and then totally put out that they hadn't noticed, told them he had lost a tooth. This was then followed by "and you know, there is no tooth fairy"

Oh, Nathan...of course there is a tooth fairy.

safety first

After the grueling experience that was the Irongirl, the kids and I spent a week at my mom and dad's house. It was just what I needed. So relaxing. My kids actually played outside for hours on end. My parents live out in the country with no neighbors for a mile so it is the perfect place for kids to run, ride bikes, play with bugs and do fun kid things in general.

One of the things the boys really enjoyed was riding bikes. Sam found a little plastic toy with wheels that he could ride. He couldn't reach the pedals so he made his way around and around the circle drive Fred Flinstone style. But Sam believes whole heartedly in safety. Safety above all else. He found this helmet and insisted on wearing it every time he took his bike out for a spin. Good thing too, because he took a few nasty spills, but his little noggin....fully protected.

irongirl

or something a little less tough, and a little more squishy than Iron. Maybe JelloGirl?

Okay, I don't know if I will ever blog about myself again. I am not one to toot my own horn. But seeing as this is the only journal for myself and my family and I feel that I must write this experience down somewhere lest I forget, I guess it will have to be here.


In the beginning...

My sister called me about a year ago and told me about an article she saw in a magazine about a race called the IronGirl. What this had to do me I didn't know, but I let her go on and on with all the details, swimming, biking running, all the while thinking: who would want to do that? So when she was done telling me about it she said..

"so, wanna do it?"

"who, us?"

"yeah, girl, US."

At this point my exercise revolved around working off all the sugar and fat consumed the day before. I had never worked toward a goal like this before. Amber, on the other hand, had already done numerous 5k races, a half marathon and a few bike rides. I had only done a few 5ks and had yet to have a good experience. My last one being beat by a bunch of 7 year olds! But something in me made me say yes, that I would try, that we should go for it. Over the next year I would question myself over and over about why I had agreed to do such a thing. Eventually I had to come up with some reasons, some inspiration or I knew I would never endure.

One of the things that kept me going during my training was thinking about my brother Justin. In April of 2008 he was in a car accident. He suffered a brain injury and as a result has had to go through extensive therapy to relearn how to do the most basic things. It was heartbreaking to watch him concentrate so hard on just holding his spoon well enough to feed himself all the way up to eventually trying to stand and then walk on his now very weak legs. So many times as I was running on the treadmill (which I hate) I would think about him and how fortunate I was to have a body that could do what I had enough will to push it to do. I really had no physical limitations. Only ones that I put on myself. I realized what a blessing a healthy and whole body is and tried to draw on that when I felt like pushing that big, tempting red button on that darn DREADMILL! The one mental image I kept conjuring up was one of Justin standing with the aid of this huge contraption and the look of pain on his face as he tried to get his brain to tell his legs to move. I could run if he could do that and on more than one occasion I ran with tears streaming down my face.

Another thought that fueled my fire was the idea of dispelling the image of "Kacey the klutz". Growing up I was the uncoordinated, nonathletic, clumsy one. It's true. I once broke my arm just walking across the yard and falling down, but I wanted to prove to myself and my kids that you can do anything you put your mind to and that you don't have to be held back by the image others have of you. Being a mom makes you question all kinds of things like how and why you turned out the way you did and what kind of person you are raising as a parent. What are my kids learning about who they can be from me? I wanted them to learn that they can be whatever they set their mind to as long as they are willing to work hard for it.

So, I trained. I had to learn how to do more than doggie paddle in the water, ride outside on a real bike instead of a stationary one without falling (which I did more than once) and learn how to push myself longer and harder than I was used to. In the end I came to hate each of these activities, but when the day rolled around, I was as ready as I could be.

The day of the race my parents, Dave and my children were there to cheer us on. They will never know how much it meant to me to have them there. I was nervous, but excited to do it. Amber was there alongside me trying to calm me and help me think positively, but until I crossed the finish line I wasn't ever sure I could finish. I wasn't excited about how long it took us to finish, I had hoped for a better time, but what was more important was that I did it. I did everything I set out to do. I finished, I didn't pass out, I didn't fall off my bike, I didn't drown (without the use of arm floaties, thank you very much) and I crossed the finish line with my sister right beside me. It was so worth it to do it with her. I surprised myself and Amber by bursting into tears as I crossed the finish line. I was just overcome with emotion, not even sure which ones, but very strong emotions. It is an experience I won't soon forget. I learned a lot of things I can do better next time. (yes, there will be a next time) But mostly I learned a lot about myself that I don't think I could have learned any other way.

bee bees

Sam has a best friend. He's blue, soft, most of the time dirty and goes everywhere with him. It's his bee bees, be bis, be bez, there's no real correct spelling but this is how he lovingly refers to his blanket. He wants it with him at the table, in the car, in bed of course and gernerally just drags it around the house with him. I have trouble getting it away from him because it always has to be within a few feet of him at all times. It just so happens that as I type this it is being washed and he has asked me atleast a dozen times where his bee bees is. Hopefully we'll get rid of it before he starts preschool in a few years, but for now I like his bee bees too.