Saturday, July 11, 2009

irongirl



or something a little less tough, and a little more squishy than Iron. Maybe JelloGirl?



Okay, I don't know if I will ever blog about myself again. I am not one to toot my own horn. But seeing as this is the only journal for myself and my family and I feel that I must write this experience down somewhere lest I forget, I guess it will have to be here.


In the beginning...

My sister called me about a year ago and told me about an article she saw in a magazine about a race called the IronGirl. What this had to do me I didn't know, but I let her go on and on with all the details, swimming, biking running, all the while thinking: who would want to do that? So when she was done telling me about it she said..

"so, wanna do it?"

"who, us?"

"yeah, girl, US."

At this point my exercise revolved around working off all the sugar and fat consumed the day before. I had never worked toward a goal like this before. Amber, on the other hand, had already done numerous 5k races, a half marathon and a few bike rides. I had only done a few 5ks and had yet to have a good experience. My last one being beat by a bunch of 7 year olds! But something in me made me say yes, that I would try, that we should go for it. Over the next year I would question myself over and over about why I had agreed to do such a thing. Eventually I had to come up with some reasons, some inspiration or I knew I would never endure.

One of the things that kept me going during my training was thinking about my brother Justin. In April of 2008 he was in a car accident. He suffered a brain injury and as a result has had to go through extensive therapy to relearn how to do the most basic things. It was heartbreaking to watch him concentrate so hard on just holding his spoon well enough to feed himself all the way up to eventually trying to stand and then walk on his now very weak legs. So many times as I was running on the treadmill (which I hate) I would think about him and how fortunate I was to have a body that could do what I had enough will to push it to do. I really had no physical limitations. Only ones that I put on myself. I realized what a blessing a healthy and whole body is and tried to draw on that when I felt like pushing that big, tempting red button on that darn DREADMILL! The one mental image I kept conjuring up was one of Justin standing with the aid of this huge contraption and the look of pain on his face as he tried to get his brain to tell his legs to move. I could run if he could do that and on more than one occasion I ran with tears streaming down my face.

Another thought that fueled my fire was the idea of dispelling the image of "Kacey the klutz". Growing up I was the uncoordinated, nonathletic, clumsy one. It's true. I once broke my arm just walking across the yard and falling down, but I wanted to prove to myself and my kids that you can do anything you put your mind to and that you don't have to be held back by the image others have of you. Being a mom makes you question all kinds of things like how and why you turned out the way you did and what kind of person you are raising as a parent. What are my kids learning about who they can be from me? I wanted them to learn that they can be whatever they set their mind to as long as they are willing to work hard for it.

So, I trained. I had to learn how to do more than doggie paddle in the water, ride outside on a real bike instead of a stationary one without falling (which I did more than once) and learn how to push myself longer and harder than I was used to. In the end I came to hate each of these activities, but when the day rolled around, I was as ready as I could be.

The day of the race my parents, Dave and my children were there to cheer us on. They will never know how much it meant to me to have them there. I was nervous, but excited to do it. Amber was there alongside me trying to calm me and help me think positively, but until I crossed the finish line I wasn't ever sure I could finish. I wasn't excited about how long it took us to finish, I had hoped for a better time, but what was more important was that I did it. I did everything I set out to do. I finished, I didn't pass out, I didn't fall off my bike, I didn't drown (without the use of arm floaties, thank you very much) and I crossed the finish line with my sister right beside me. It was so worth it to do it with her. I surprised myself and Amber by bursting into tears as I crossed the finish line. I was just overcome with emotion, not even sure which ones, but very strong emotions. It is an experience I won't soon forget. I learned a lot of things I can do better next time. (yes, there will be a next time) But mostly I learned a lot about myself that I don't think I could have learned any other way.

3 comments:

julie said...

I am so proud of you irongirl!

autumn said...

I loved reading this. I teared up when you wrote about having a whole body with no limitations. Why do we make ourselves so much less that we COULD be? I am so proud of you and Amber. You really worked hard and accomplished your goals. You are an inspiration!

Lila said...

i'm so proud of you kacey. i know it was hard and i am so glad you did it. it seems you learned a lot... maybe i should start running...swimming... biking.... hmm....